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The table long and beautifully dressed with roasted pork, smoked hams, fresh salads and vegetables. Perched at one end was always a roasted turkey awaiting the ceremonious carving by our leader.
But filling in any of the free space on the table was what everyone was most looking forward to - the seafood. And of the seafood, the jewel in the crown of Christmas lunch was always the oysters. It was not unusual to watch my pop knock back maybe two or three dozen of the little bi valves.
I could never understand this though. For something so disgusting looking to be so prized they must have tasted like pure heaven. I knew it was inevitable I would lose my oyster virginity and where better for my first time than here at Christmas lunch with the support of my family! Much to their amusement it was horrible.
I remember this jaundice slimy looking ball of snot starring up at me for a good 10 minutes before I could bring myself to put it in my mouth. Knowing I would be unsure of what I was meant to do once it was in my mouth I had earlier undertaken a Vox Pop on the question of ‘chew or swallow’. Whether my family really did chew or they were just gearing up for a laugh there was a unanimous verdict on the chew. So I did, or tried too until I had to run outside and rid my mouth of this putrid vile creature.
Spending the next half an hour trying to eradicate any memory of this torture I was now more confused as to why everyone loved them. Years went by, occasionally trying a Kilpatrick, so often frowned upon by oyster connoisseurs, but I was never truly able to embrace the oyster. I could do olives, blue cheese and even steak tartare, but here lied the last bastion of my adult palate
This was until I learnt the truth about oysters, and most importantly when the best and worst time to eat oysters. So what was it that converted me into a true oyster lover.
Firstly, I was correct to have found that oyster at Christmas so unpleasant. As soon as the ocean temperature starts to warm oysters will start spawning. When this happens the white centre part grows much larger and the result is a creamy snotty consistency. Some people love this but compared to the beautiful flavour and texture of a winter/spring oyster I find it a bit offensive.
So if summer is the worst time to eat oysters, when is the best? Right now. The cold spring oceans mean they are not quite spawning yet but they’re big and juicy after having spent the winter vigoursly feeding and getting themselves ready for summer breeding.
Secondly and most importantly is how you buy oysters. Always choose ‘un-shucked’ oysters. This means they still have their shell on and you will have to open them yourself. It may be a little bit more work but it is really easy once you know how and the rewards are exponential.
As a note, it is so quick and easy there is no excuse for restaurants charging $20 for six oysters to serve ones that have been open for days, ask your friendly waiter next time how long the oysters have been open.
When the oyster is first opened it should be sitting in a pool of fresh sea water. This ‘first water’ is where the essence of the oyster flavour comes from but sometimes can be a little salty, so it should be shaken out of the shell, but then watch as the oyster will naturally moisten itself again by expelling a ‘second water’. This is the ultimate sign of freshness.
The appearance should resemble nothing of the yellow snotty memory of my childhood. They should be black and grey in colour with at least two or three layers of the lacy frills on the outer edges of the shell. A small amount of cream in the centre is good.
Chew or swallow? That is up to you but I can’t understand why you would just put it in your mouth then swallow. Chew the oyster and enjoy the flavour.
What to serve the oysters with? I think a shallot and red wine vinegar compliments the flavour the best. And to drink you cannot go wrong with a glass of Champagne.