Brunei

Greetings from Brunei Darrausallam, “The land of Peace” - a description that could not be more accurate.

The people here are the nicest people I have ever met. There is no crime at all, it is almost as clean as Singapore, the drivers are terrible and yet no-one ever uses there horn and if you are walking along people will pull over and off you a lift without even having to go via a gem shop! And why is it so peaceful here -because there is no grog. The governance here is an Islamic Monarchy and alcohol is banned from public places. Coming from Warrnambool, the home of the drunken dick head this is a pleasant change. You can drink in your house or hotel and you are allowed to bring 2 litres of spirit and 12 cans of beer in with you but you cannot buy alcohol anywhere.... that is unless you meet an Aussie who gives you the phone number of the Brunei “Milkman”. After a broken English conversation he will send his wife out in a beaten up Datsun to deliver a dozen cans of tiger beer wrapped very tightly in garbage bags – Illegal beer tastes so much better, so I have heard!

Gold and marble is everywhere. There is a saying that there is more marble in Brunei than Italy and more gold than Fort Knox, is easy to believe. Around the Sultans Mosque is a fence spanning several kilometres and every 4 of five meters is a lamp post made of 16 carrot solid gold weighing about a kilo or so! No security because there is no risk it will be stolen. There is a hotel here, the Empire hotel, built by the infamous Prince Geoffrey (whom has now returned and been forgiven for misplacing $1billion). This hotel was forecast to never make a profit in its lifetime even at 100% occupancy!

Sorry to say though that our expected cooking for Prince Qawi did not happen as he had to leave the country in his role as the chaperone of the crown prince.

NB. After publishing this first I have now have to say on our return to Brunei from KK we cook a couple of dishes for HRH.

The men here are true gentlemen - something Rachel is hoping will rub off on me a little. Nothing is too much trouble and if you ask for something to be done if it is possible it will be done immediately. There is also a very interesting way of always telling the truth and never offering lip service, something I think Aussies are a little guilty of. We were taken out a lot to eat in Brunei. During dinner our host would critique absolutely everything to the waiter. I asked if this was just a personal trait but it isn’t, everyone does it and once what is said is said it is over and done. I think this approach especially when it comes to food stems from the fact the average person in Brunei, and throughout most of Asia, has a much deeper and broader knowledge of food than the average Australian. We were also on the receiving end of this mentality which took a little getting used to.

This understanding the Malay people have of food is essential because there is so much choice and the food here is so amazing. This creates a problem though in choosing what to eat; I think that is why the Malay people eat 5 times a day.

Char kway teow (noodles), Nasi Ayam (chicken rice), Satay Daging (Mutton Satay), Fried Chicken in spicy sauce, Chicken Noodle Soup, Hoiken egg noodles, Fish Dumplings, Laksa, Beef Curry, Chicken Curry, more satay, more roti, more char kway teow, chilli prawns, bamboo clams, chinese vegetables, more roti, more laksa, chicken cooked in bamboo, sambal prawns, tapioca leaves with chicken liver in coconut milk, bakso (Indonesian soup), fried green chillis with chicken kidneys, deep fried snake beans with garlic and oyster sauce, fish maw (swim bladder) and sea cucumber hot pot, fried tofu, coral trout salad, crispy skin pork hock, Fried Mee (noodles), more char kway teow, watercress in belechan (shrimp paste), Hainin chicken rice, sour fish soup, pork and prawn in bean curd, fried prawn wonton, chickens feet, pork rib in black vinegar, carrot cake, steamed pork dumplings, pau (steamed pork buns), steamed pork rib, rolled noodles with pork, chicken wings, rice cakes, fried pork chop and steamed pork – THIS IS WHAT WE ATE THIS IN 4 DAYS!

One interesting exception to the quality of food is the quality of the meat. Coming from Australia where the beef is amazing the meat here just doesn’t compare. All the meat in Brunei must not only be Halal, the Halal slaughter must also be witnessed by an official from the Brunei government. Because of this the quality of the meat suffers as the cost of having to send someone to witness the slaughter in a country like Australia is massive and therefore the only option is live import. The hot weather and lack of space means the animals have to be slaughtered stressed and slightly malnourished almost immediately after arriving. An interesting aside, Halal is about respecting the animal in many different ways including when they are alive and the people here have huge concerns about the conditions.

That is Brunei. I could go on forever because it is an amazing place and the friends we have here are wonderful.

We are now in Kota Kinabalu at the most amazingly luxurious resort – The Pacific Sutera. www.agoda.com and you can get yourself a room in a five star resort with a bar in the swimming pool, a 27 hole golf course looking out over the south china sea for about AUD$100. Fly Air Asia and you can get here for about 500 bucks! It is surreal because it is almost empty which is good because it frees up the piano in the lobby for late night drunken jazz and the swimming pool is deserted.

The town centre of KK, a 10 ringgit taxi ride away is buzzing with people and food everywhere.

The markets are overflowing with the freshest seafood and vegetables. Health regulations seem to be non-existent as the chicken sits uncovered unchilled in the 30 degree heat.

Bright colors and smoke billowing from rows and rows of hawkers selling chicken wings, BBQ fish and satay sticks. We weren’t quite sure what the hawker lady was saying that sounded a lot like chicken arse until we realised she was saying chicken arse. Parsons nose satay skewers. Note that next time we need napkins to wipe stick chicken wing juice of our hands. KK is famous for its seafood and the 4 basketball court sized seafood market with rows and rows of fish tanks filled with every imaginable creature. Ugly stagnant staring stonefish, mantis shrimp in coke bottles to stop them killing each other, scallops flapping about and translucent prawns dancing in the water.

Behind the tanks are the restaurants that transform the seafood into wonderful dishes. The tables, all for at least 12 people are filled with mainly Chinese tourist sharing a lazy Susan of the most amazing dishes.

We worked our guts out in the Millennium restaurant to produce and teach the kitchen French Spanish and Italian banquets. The kitchen staff were wonderful, funny and all spoke very little English. Most of the teaching was done was like playing charades. We’ve got a few kitchen words down pat now. We were always stopped for breakfast , lunch and dinner no matter what. We were more than looked after by these gentle polite hardworking people. Rachel says the first couple of days were quite daunting in a new country and new kitchen. I was at home within minutes. Famous, confident and greeting the staff as old friends. It is such a wonderful experience coming to Millenium we just wish it was longer... although now the hard work is over its all pork and beer from now on.